.
I miss those days with the girls. When we would sit around the table and talk nonsense and laugh our heads off at the silly things that happened, lean in to listen to gossip, sling our arms around each other's chair unconsciously, defend mutual friends, hug one another in comfort. The Exams are coming, and it's sapping energy and time from everybody. There's no more time to indulge ourselves in after school gatherings, lunches at Black Canyon (except for Exam Day lunches), planned outings to KAP.
I'm treasuring those lunches and gatherings at the shiny turqoise tables, because I know these are the memories I'll take away with me from NJ when I leave.
The exuberant laughter from Christine, the occasional jibe from Ruth, the wild gesturing of Bengahs, the pointed but completely innocent remarks from Rhoda, the comments from Karen, the easy to elicit laughter from Soph, the chatter about British actors from Charmaine.
The memories that I'll treasure when this chapter if closed.
.
Don't drag me into this now. I'm not saying this with any anger or exasperation, but with just a quiet kind of tiredness. I couldn't take it, and I don't want to. Not now. Not when I have things that should be more important on my mind, not when I have Econs essays to complete, History concepts to think through and Math formulas to remember. It'll only end up in a way that both of us would hate the most.
All I can say is, not now.
That's all I can say right now. How you choose to react and what you choose to do is completely up to you. What I thought we had, has completely dissolved with that one text message.
That was my disillusion.
.
Give me the words,
And I'll say them like I mean it.
